Growing up, I hated being Asian, looking different, going to Chinese school and eating different foods than my peers. I was teased, bullied and was called many racist names throughout my life growing up and living on the east coast. I grew up in predominantly Caucasian areas. It wasn’t until moving to California in 2016, at the age of 45, that I started to embrace my nationality, but I wasn’t unique anymore because California is full of Asians.
I was born in Chiayi, Taiwan in 1971. When I was 6 months old, my mother flew to the US with my older sister (14 months older) and I to reunite with my father who was studying for his PhD in Physics at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. We then moved to Athens, Georgia where my father did his post doctorate at the University of Georgia. My father worked at the front desk of a hotel, Ramada Inn, where he was robbed at gun point. They bought our first house there. All I remember about Athens was that we had a large pool, apple and peach trees and getting hit in the eye with a miniature golf club leaving a scar above my eye. My brother was born in 1977. Shortly after, we moved to Sterling, Virginia which was predominantly Caucasian.
My father worked in the aerospace industry designing parts for nuclear weapons. We moved around as he was trying to obtain higher paying jobs. Our next move was to Northboro, Massachusetts, in 1979, where he accepted a job with Raytheon Corporation. I was in 3rd grade. Again, the area was predominantly Caucasians. My mom sent us to Chinese school on Sundays and I hated it. I hated being Asian.
I became a US citizen on February 3, 1982 at the age of 9.
When I was 12 years old, I had a paper route. I would delivery the local paper on a daily basis around the neighborhood. There was a group of Caucasian guys, a year older than me, that would tease me. They would surround me and steal my papers from me. They would name call and bully me. After about 30 minutes, they would return the papers to me and leave. It was a weekly occurrence. I would try to deliver the papers at different times to avoid them. That went on for 2+ years. But that was not going to stop me from delivering papers and making money.
In 1987, at the age of 16, sophomore year in high school, we moved to Medford, New Jersey. My father got a job at GE Aerospace in Philadelphia, PA. Again, it was predominantly Caucasian . The high school was bigger, 500 per class. There were only 5 Asians in the student population of 2000. I was different and not completely accepted. It was a struggle to make friends in the first year. Eventually I did but I always felt different and embarrassed by my ethnicity.
I started college in Philadelphia, PA and WOW did my world open up. I was no longer singled out. Groups of Asians would hang out together, and I often felt stared at because I did not hang out with any of them. I did not feel like I belonged with any group. I had very few friends because I worked so much. I worked 20 hours per week for an on-campus job between classes and waitressed 3 nights a week (25 hours a week) at a local hotel to be able to pay for my education (I had no help from my parents...story for another day).
I never had any Asian friends growing until college. My mom was racist against other Asians. She only liked Taiwanese and Japanese people. My first Asian friend was during my coop job. Her name was Kay, and she was Filipino. To be honest, I did not really think that Filipinos were Asian. To me, Kay looked Hispanic. I had to look up the history to understand it. My next Asian friends were Chinese, Peiling and Ken, from work at IBM. Up until I was 45 years old, these were the only Asian friends I had ever had.
Flash forward to 2016 when I moved myself to California and settled in Joshua Tree, CA on December 28, 2018. In September 2018, I was in Joshua Tree, CA and started dating a HAPA ( I never heard this terminology until I moved west), half Caucasian and half Asian. I had never dated an Asian man before till then. I honestly did not find Asian men attractive. I traveled Southeast Asian for a few months solo to Vietnam, Cambodia, Hong Kong, Bali, Indonesia, Thailand and Taiwan. From this trip, I really embraced my Asian heritage (80% Taiwanese/Chinese and 20% Japanese). I have also met many Asian people in the Joshua Tree community that I have befriended. I have the most amount of Asian friends here than in my prior life on the east coast. Now, I have fully embraced my Asian heritage.
Commentaires