Holidays are not the same anymore for me. For the past 5 years, I have dreaded the holidays. It brings up memories of when I used to host back on the east coast. I would have about 10 people to my house...my parents, my son, his dad, my sister, her husband and her husband's family.
Growing up, I always yearned for joyful family holiday gatherings. Now, my parents have passed. My mom died unexpectedly in an accident in Japan on Oct 24, 2016 and my dad from colon cancer on August 1, 2017. My older sister lives in San Diego and prefers to do holidays with just her family. My younger sister and her husband goes back to Philadelphia, PA to spend Christmas with his family. My brother in San Francisco spends it with his wife's family in San Francisco. The only family I am spending Christmas with is my son.
The holiday season brings up grieving emotions for me. From anger to anxiety to sadness to yearning of a family holiday. Grieving gets easier over time but it always brings up these waves of emotions. I ask that friends be patient with me on my ride of emotions.
This is an excellent article talking about grieving around the holiday season.
In loving memory of my 3 dogs...Bailey, Yoda (pug) and Trevor (boston terrier), my mom Huong-Mei Hwang (Grace) 1946-2016, my dad Hsing-Chow Hwang (Jim) 1940-2017 and my mom's boyfriend John Huang.
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